quite the pair

Ryan and I met on a cross cultural trip to England during our junior year of college.

We flirted over the summer a bit, but it wasn't until we ended up living across the hall from one another during our senior year that love began to blossom.

Three years later we got married....

Almost 5 years later, God has revealed to me in so many different ways why He brought us together.

A few weeks ago we decided to get some genetic testing done. Our Dr thought it might be good to test me for Fragile X Syndrome, so we decided to get a Counsyl test. Normally, they only test the woman, because both partners must be carriers in order to greatly increase the odds of passing a disorder to your child.

Just in case something was found on my test, I suggested Ryan get tested too and then we could bypass the 2 week wait for his results and get started on our next IVF treatment cycle. 

We felt assured that it would be a $100 test to give us some comfort in knowing nothing was wrong and we could continue with hope and trust that my supplements would boost my eggs and get us the healthy embryo we needed to transfer!

Counsyl tests for over 100 genetic diseases.

And guess what?

My perfect partner and I are a match for one -- Hereditary Thymine-Uraciluria.

The risk for us to be carriers are 1 in 40,000.

The risk for 2 people with this to be together is 1 in 10,000.

The risk for our children to have it are 1 in 4. 

It is hereditary, so we got the mutation from one of our parents. Because it's recessive, neither of use have any symptoms. We don't know anyone in our families who have symptoms, but because it is recessive I am not too surprised. The whole thing is overwhelming and a bit confusing!

I'm not going to go into details about what it is exactly {you can read here if you'd like}, but it is enough to make us question our next step. 

Being faced with the decision to stop fertility treatments and accept the fact that it might be best to stop trying to have our own child is the hardest decision I've ever had to make -- I'm sure Ryan would agree.

We meet with a pre-conception counselor and our Dr next week to talk more, although in my opinion there isn't really much to talk about. 

I truly hope they enlighten us to some kind of good, unexpected news.

So, that's where we are.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little heart broken and sad, however, I feel so strongly that God is working on something truly special for Ryan and I. I don't feel like I'd be able to embrace this low time for us without being able to see a light further down the tunnel and knowing {with confidence} that we will get there. 

I know there is a child out there for us to love. It might not have my blue eyes and Ryan's red hair, but it will have a heart that's young and parents who are anxious to share with them the love of Christ. The core of my heart is in His. I cannot lose faith now in His bigger plan. 

Will keep everyone updated when we make our final decision on what to do next - please pray specifically for discernment. Your prayers have kept us laughing and going forward all along...they are making a difference. Thank you :)!

My MIL sent me this bible verse this week;

Trust in the Lord with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understanding; 

in all your ways submit to him, 

and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:4-5 

We're trusting. It's not easy, but we're trying.